TIme to listen
As I type this love letter I have no voice. There is no sound coming out of my mouth when I try to speak, and it is both incredibly liberating and oppressing at the same time. Not being able to communicate with sound is very strange, for it is the most instinctive way for me to express myself from the first moment I drew breath. At times it feels frustrating, I literally am silenced. Not being able to speak and express feels numbing, cut off and lonely. And it is also an invitation; a gentle calling to stay silent and listen. To really hear what is being said by others without giving a reply. To hold space. To listen and hear the soft whispers of my own deepest yearnings.
On the 3rd of February we celebrated Imbolc/ Imbolg. Translated from the beautiful Irish Gaelic it means, ‘into the belly’. A celebration of Goddess Brigid. The Maiden representation who wanders the lands. Everywhere her cloak softly touches the frost-stained earth, the seeds deep in the belly of the earth hear her gentle calling. An invitation to slowly start awakening and unfurling from the deep winter sleep to get ready for Ostara, Spring Equinox, around the 21st of March.
As the seeds are being called, so we are being invited to go deep into the belly and feel what seeds want to start sprouting. Slowly we are being guided by nature around us to start crawling out of our winter sleep. The days are filled with more hours of light, the sun is warming up and the snowdrops are showing their beautiful faces reminding us that Spring is coming.
The past years many of my seeds blossomed into full grown flowers and trees. I have birthed many creative projects, facilitated at beautiful retreats. Last year I started my own business, The Grounding Studio, that has flourished into a beautiful practice. My relationships are strong and loving and my home a beautiful safe haven.
When I dive deep into my own belly this year, I can see the seeds that have been dormant in their winter sleep, and I am excited for them to awaken. Then there is the one seed that I have been planting for the past two years that has not started to unfurl (yet). My deepest yearning is to become a mother, to feel my womb fill with life. I feel my cloak gently sweeping over my inner landscape, awakening my cells and I can clearly hear my song of longing and invitation.
This road has, and still is, transformational. At times it is also very lonely, and so I wanted to share it with you. Not to get advice, or to hear that story of that one cousins’ friend who ‘had a wild night’ or ‘just let is all go’ and then fell pregnant. No, this is my way to break through the loneliness, the silence, that I myself, and I can imagine many women in the same situation, feel.
I am sharing my deepest longing and desire with you as an invitation, for now it is my turn to listen. My wish is that by sharing about my inner landscape you will be inspired do the same. I would love to hear from you, what seeds you are planting. Whether your seeds are like mine, or you are planting seeds of other creative projects, something in yourself, a new job or house. I truly believe that in a world that is harsh and cruel, coming together, supporting and loving each other is one of the most radical forms of activism.
I hope you will write back to me. I would love to listen to your stories, your dreams, your fears and everything in between. Being a space holder for your seeds as you have been for mine. I am a true believer in the ripple effect of sharing our deepest truths and dreams. Let us be compassionate to one another in these times of unfurling. Let us come together to cultivate our seeds, so that when the time comes, they will grow into deeply rooted and aligned realities.
With love always,
Anna
